Envy Red

Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, to trysexual aka "I'll try anything once maybe even twice if it's good" sexual, we have entered a sexual revolution. Things once considered taboo are the norm as society has embraced an acceptance of sex in mainstream media and the everyday lives of individuals and groups. If you live long enough and are open enough you will witness first hand the void of shock factor that once tailed the subject of S-E-X.

With this newly revolutionized atmosphere comes a need to educate the masses on issues that are still highly misunderstood including the use of condoms and their effectiveness against pregnancy and STDs. Although when used effectively condoms are highly effective against the two, it is important to note that there are cases in which they do little to nothing to protect you. One of those issues is a form of HPV that causes genital warts. Although still a mystery to many, it is the most commonly occurring STD caused by a virus. Described as flesh or grey toned growths that infect the genital and anal regions of both men and women, genital warts are highly contagious and may often go undetected due to their lack of physical symptoms outside of the often minor growths that may vary in size and shape in the pubic region. They are painless and often colorless outside of your individual skin tone. The spread is caused by skin to skin contact with the genital or anal region of an infected person. Therefore although condoms cover certain areas, they prove ineffective against the spread of this form of HPV as bodies mesh during sexual intercourse. In fact approximately 2/3 of individuals who come in contact with an infected person with an active outbreak, may develop an infection within three months as genital warts may take time to develop in the epithelial cells of the skins surface which is where the virus lives in the body. Once diagnosed, an individual is treated with one of a variety of topical solutions including one that is acid based and may differentiate a wart from another growth such as a common in grown hair bump by turning it white. The HPV virus that causes genital warts has no cure and treatment may not cause a permanent fix for the virus. In fact, it may go away in some individuals while reoccurring in others. It is important for those infected to prevent the spread by monitoring their genital/ anal regions for active growths and treating them as soon as possible while abstaining from sex until the wart has been treated and gone.

Long considered the most efficient barrier against STD, condoms alone do not prevent the spread of many common STDs even when used correctly. Great care must be taken to monitor the genital and anal areas of yourself and your sex partner to aid in the fight against risk factors such as HPV (Human Pappillomavirus) that causes genital warts. This culprit may be spread from mere contact with a wart that is visually open or hidden but present. Do your part and get educated on this most common STD caused by a virus that is still highly misunderstood. We have entered a sexual revolution. Arm yourself with knowledge and heightened awareness. Pick up the condom because safe sex is great sex but pride yourself in knowing that condoms alone are not the answer to the best sex.

~Envy~

It's been a long day at the j-o-b and you are ready to relax and unwind after a great meal. You take a hot steamy shower, put on your partner's favorite scent, cover the bed in silk sheets, and light a few candles to set the mood. You even pop an x-rated movie in the DVD player on silent for that added back up and visual stimulation. Your partner comes in the room and heads for the shower. You barely notice they did not glance at the set-up because your mind is one tracked tonight so you assume they are taking the hint and getting freshened up. WRONG! They come back in the room, pull back the sheets, peck you on the lips, and flip the "off" switch on the remote before turning on their side sending a soft "good night love" over their shoulder. A few minutes later you hear soft z's followed by loud snores. What just happened here? Were you not clear that there was a meeting in your bedroom that you had not even quite started yet adjourned?

This scenario plays out all too often in the households of many couples. Although the roles could go either way, studies show that men's sex drive is higher than women's with most fantasizing about sex at least once a day. Only 1/4 of women do so with the same frequency. There are many theories why men have higher sex drive with some being tied to their very anatomy and the role of sex in their lives. Men have a more simplistic view of sex and are more aroused by physical stimulation. Some theories believe guys want to pass on their genetics. They are reported to seek  sex more often regardless of the stage of their relationship and with more partners. They are more likely to engage in casual sex and masturbate more frequently.

On the other hand, women's libido is far more complex and is driven more by emotional connections. Their sex drive requires more mental stimulation than physical arousal. It is reported that women take longer to orgasm at 10-11 minutes from the point of penetration and only 20% report always having an orgasm compared at 75% of men. Environment plays a bigger role in female sex drive with things such as culture and social factors having a higher influence on mood. Church played a role in sex drive in women where it had no influence on men. Anatomically, it is believed that women must be more choosey about their sexual encounters and partner selection because they are the ones who can get pregnant making it more likely that they will seek sex less frequently with fewer partners.

Despite these findings women show higher inconsistencies between expressed values about sex and their actual sexual activities. It has been shown that women with higher education levels are more likely to have performed a more diverse set of sexual acts. In addition, there peer group attitudes also had influence on their own admissions whether they engaged in certain sexual behaviors or not.

So what do you do if you are in the above scenario more often than you would like with a partner who is demonstrating low sex drive on a normal basis? An obvious choice is medication to increase the libido but studies show that men are more receptive to this solution because their sex drive is more tied to biology. My opinion is that there is no substitution for good communication when faced with this situation. Talk to your partner without placing blame or causing them to defend their issue. Try relieving some of the stressors outside of the bedroom that may trickle into the bedroom. Also seek medical advice from your doctor who may be able to diagnose and treat underlying issues that may be causing low sex drive. Guys understand that women's sex drive is more mental and concentrate on stimulating her mental desires as well as her physical ones. Practice techniques such as role play if you must. Do things outside of the bedroom to show her you appreciate her. Perhaps buy her flowers sometimes if she is into that. Take out the trash and mow the lawn. There is nothing sexier than that! Ladies understand guys are more stimulated by the physical and play up those physical desires. Dress up, bend over in front of him, and show him what you are working with. Get in the know as knowing is half the battle. Get your sex drive back on track . It is the fuel you need to get to the finish line of pleasure for both you and your partner.